An Ideal World - The Real World = ?

Have you ever noticed how flies come around most often when you're eating? Sometimes I think they're just in it for the food.

I am what God made me, an atheist.

How the word "island" came about. It's not much land, but it "is land".

We have two eyes so we see in 3D. We have two ears which allows us to hear in stereo. WHY do we have two nostrils?

For those hunting trips that really don't go very well, try new "Buddy Bag". (A Dick Cheney favorite)

Never use a drinking straw. Straws are for suckers.

Have you ever heard someone refer to a small time business as a Mickey Mouse operation? Are they implying that Walt Disney is small time?

Someone yelled real loud in my ear today, now I have mono.

A dating site for Amish people. Ehominy.com

I'm not afraid of H1N1, I use Linux.

-Jeff

Prejudice is sometimes based on the idea that there is a superior race. Let's suppose that is true. If you belong to the superior race, shouldn't your role be to help those that were born less fortunate than yourself? Surely oppression isn't higher thinking.

Jeff

Out of the top 20 most popular deviations here on DA, only 4 are traditional works, unless you count literature, and I do, it's 5. How do you feel about this?

I want to be known, by everyone in the world, as the person who isn't famous.

Instead of everyone buying a pair of sunglasses, why don't we all pitch in for one giant lens, to cover the sun?

The key to playing Jinga, is teaming up with your opponent. If you start at the top, you can both work your way to the bottom, without incident.

Irony: Having a custom license plate that reads "APATHY".

Is it just me, or does "Chestnuts" sound like some kind of weird, and unfortunate, birth defect.

I have a wood working shop. I build bar stools. If you think you might be interested in buying one, I'll send you a stool sample.

This country would be much better off if we could export all the Pedestrians back to where they came from. (Pedestria?)

I once ate an entire box of Captain Crunch, by my self. Does that make me a cereal killer?

Idea for a fuel efficient car: Put small wheels on the front, so it's always rolling downhill.

A man with no taste buds said to his friend: Try this and tell me if it taste good, so I'll know if I should enjoy it when I eat.

Jeff